Perspective elevation.
Perspective.
Deluxe, slide-out drawer, shown holding two three-day Coachella passes.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Further proof that I have a little too much time on my hands 9:18 AM
Concept sketch.
Perspective elevation.
Perspective.
Deluxe, slide-out drawer, shown holding two three-day Coachella passes.
Perspective elevation.
Perspective.
Deluxe, slide-out drawer, shown holding two three-day Coachella passes.
Monday, February 8, 2010
The stupidest commercial of the Super Bowl 2:42 PM
There were a number of tremendously stupid/inane/disgusting/unfunny commercials during yesterday's excellently played Super Bowl, but Audi's A3 TDI "Green Police" spot stood out from the rest. No commercial was as insulting, irresponsible, and potentially damaging as the German automaker's 60-second ad. Well done, Audi.
I've always liked the A3, and think a greener, TDI version is awesome--hell, I'd even consider buying one--but I couldn't have been more disappointed with the ad. Audi's spot makes environmentalists seem like fascists,1 and probably convinced millions of Americans that they're not to be taken seriously. The A3 TDI may very well be the "green car of the year", but Audi's commercial did far more harm than good. It completely patronizes thousands of individuals that are working (or volunteering) for a greater good, all in an effort to sell a car that may or may not be marginally better for the environment.2 At a time when environmental responsibility and "green living" seem to be reaching something of a tipping point, this was the last thing we needed.
I'm assuming the "creative" decisions behind the ad were the responsibility of a jackass-laden ad agency, but Audi had to ok the spot, and should bear the brunt of the responsibility. Regardless of who had the final say, it's clear that both companies shit the bed.
1 I promise this isn't a jab at Germany's, uh, checkered past. I read the description on ESPN and thought it captured my sentiment perfectly.
2 Marginally better than other new cars, not better than walking, cycling and taking public transportation.
I've always liked the A3, and think a greener, TDI version is awesome--hell, I'd even consider buying one--but I couldn't have been more disappointed with the ad. Audi's spot makes environmentalists seem like fascists,1 and probably convinced millions of Americans that they're not to be taken seriously. The A3 TDI may very well be the "green car of the year", but Audi's commercial did far more harm than good. It completely patronizes thousands of individuals that are working (or volunteering) for a greater good, all in an effort to sell a car that may or may not be marginally better for the environment.2 At a time when environmental responsibility and "green living" seem to be reaching something of a tipping point, this was the last thing we needed.
I'm assuming the "creative" decisions behind the ad were the responsibility of a jackass-laden ad agency, but Audi had to ok the spot, and should bear the brunt of the responsibility. Regardless of who had the final say, it's clear that both companies shit the bed.
1 I promise this isn't a jab at Germany's, uh, checkered past. I read the description on ESPN and thought it captured my sentiment perfectly.
2 Marginally better than other new cars, not better than walking, cycling and taking public transportation.
Music Monday - Quadron and Groove Armada 9:47 AM
Quadron - S/T
Today's first artist/song recommendation is courtesy of the esteemed, DJ Jensetter. Quadron is also a favorite of KCRW--and Raul Campos in particular--and thanks to their upcoming self-titled debut album, the sexy, soulful band has been getting a lot of radio play on the station. I can't wait to get my hands on the album, but in the meantime I'll have to content myself by listening to "Slippin'" a sickening number of times.
You also have to like the album art. I think.
Groove Armada - Black Light
Groove Armada already lays claim to my favorite name in the music industry (seriously, how sweet is Groove Armada), and fortunately they have the sound to match. Soundboy Rock was one of my favorite albums of 20081, and they've more than done it again with Black Light. I had to practically pull over my car last night when "History" started up on the radio, lest my toe tapping and swiveling hips cause a multi-car accident. There aren't a whole lot of bands out there that can get me grooving (no pun intended) like that. For everyone's sake, it's probably a good thing.
1 I'll spare you the exercise of going through their full discography, but suffice it to say it's extensive, and excellent.
Today's first artist/song recommendation is courtesy of the esteemed, DJ Jensetter. Quadron is also a favorite of KCRW--and Raul Campos in particular--and thanks to their upcoming self-titled debut album, the sexy, soulful band has been getting a lot of radio play on the station. I can't wait to get my hands on the album, but in the meantime I'll have to content myself by listening to "Slippin'" a sickening number of times.
You also have to like the album art. I think.
Groove Armada - Black Light
Groove Armada already lays claim to my favorite name in the music industry (seriously, how sweet is Groove Armada), and fortunately they have the sound to match. Soundboy Rock was one of my favorite albums of 20081, and they've more than done it again with Black Light. I had to practically pull over my car last night when "History" started up on the radio, lest my toe tapping and swiveling hips cause a multi-car accident. There aren't a whole lot of bands out there that can get me grooving (no pun intended) like that. For everyone's sake, it's probably a good thing.
1 I'll spare you the exercise of going through their full discography, but suffice it to say it's extensive, and excellent.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Completely unscientific findings from volunteering at KCRW's pledge drive 12:19 PM
Earlier this week I had the esteemed pleasure of joining dozens of unemployed, retired, and possibly homeless radio aficionados in a basement at Santa Monica College, volunteering as a pledge taker for KCRW's annual winter subscription drive. I met some fun, interesting people, gorged myself on delicious vegetarian sandwiches, befriended a charming gay couple (of course I did), and gave back to the radio station I love. My 6:30am shift was a little slower than expected, but the slow periods afforded me the opportunity to ponder the important things in life--like whether I should make a special trip to Trader Joe's to purchase a $2.99 six-pack of Red Oval Beer--and the time to mentally write a blog post recapping my observations from two days slaving away at the phones. I hope you enjoy, and I really hope you take the time to donate to one of my favorite things about Los Angeles--89.9 KCRW.
Most of the people that call in to donate are women
The majority of the calls I handled were made by women, and/or the elderly. This wasn't exactly a shocker--I'm guessing the younger listeners donate online--and also goes a long way toward explaining why Tom Schnabel still has a weekly broadcast.
Subscribers love the random, donated premiums
I was amazed at how many people call in immediately after special, donated premiums are announced--ie restaurant and shopping gift certificates, tours, autographed books, etc. Only a few callers were interested in the plethora of CDs the station offers, and almost no one chose a piece of KCRW merchandise (apparently I'm the only person in LA that enjoys smugly wearing around KCRW T-shirts--I'm up to three!). I fielded numerous calls from people that just missed limited time giveaways, and rather than choose something else, they chose to hang up and hold out for the next gift certificate premium to be announced.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems a bit odd to only donate to the Dub if you're getting a cash equivalent in return. I suppose it doesn't matter since KCRW certainly isn't complaining.
Many subscribers have no idea what they want, or are even aware they get something for subscribing
Including the CDs, there are literally hundreds of premiums available to KCRW subscribers. A startling number of callers seemed completely oblivious of this, and were hardly aware they could receive anything at all. As a result, I was left trying to predict which CDs or other premiums middle-aged women would enjoy. Shockingly, they routinely shot down my unbiased "Raul Campos 4-CD Pack" recommendation, despite its inclusion of Hot Chip and Quadron. Shows what they know.
If you're planning on calling in before the end of the drive, click here and here for information on the standard premiums available.
Volunteers love free shit
I met a number of incredibly nice, interesting (and in most cases unemployed) people from all walks of life during my two shifts. Volunteers came in all shapes and sizes, from nearly every area of Los Angeles, each with a different story to tell. Aside from an eagerness to help, and a deep, passionate love of KCRW, there was one trait that tied everyone together--a love of free shit. T-shirts, food, stickers, crappy CDs, gift certificates for places you've never heard of--you name it, if it's free, volunteers crave it. I quasi-include myself in this--at least with regard to food (which, btw, was delicious).
The half-hour Bookworm is on the air is the busiest half-hour of the drive
Amazingly, the half-hour Michael Silverblatt controls the KCRW airwaves is the busiest of the entire drive. Who knew? Jason Bentley must be jealous as all hell. Apparently, Bookworm's prodigious results are due to the fact that it only airs once during the drive, the show has an ardent following--it's the only program of its kind in the United States(!), and Silverblatt always has a special autographed book premium available at the show's conclusion. Add it up and it's a lucrative combination for KCRW.
Speaking of Michael Silverblatt, I got to meet him, and he was far less creepy in person that he comes across on the radio. I also had the pleasure of receiving an exhortation/thank you from Warren Olney (yes, the Warren Olney), and he was just as dignified in person as you'd expect--though not as well dressed. I guess that's the beauty of the radio.
Most of the people that call in to donate are women
The majority of the calls I handled were made by women, and/or the elderly. This wasn't exactly a shocker--I'm guessing the younger listeners donate online--and also goes a long way toward explaining why Tom Schnabel still has a weekly broadcast.
Subscribers love the random, donated premiums
I was amazed at how many people call in immediately after special, donated premiums are announced--ie restaurant and shopping gift certificates, tours, autographed books, etc. Only a few callers were interested in the plethora of CDs the station offers, and almost no one chose a piece of KCRW merchandise (apparently I'm the only person in LA that enjoys smugly wearing around KCRW T-shirts--I'm up to three!). I fielded numerous calls from people that just missed limited time giveaways, and rather than choose something else, they chose to hang up and hold out for the next gift certificate premium to be announced.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems a bit odd to only donate to the Dub if you're getting a cash equivalent in return. I suppose it doesn't matter since KCRW certainly isn't complaining.
Many subscribers have no idea what they want, or are even aware they get something for subscribing
Including the CDs, there are literally hundreds of premiums available to KCRW subscribers. A startling number of callers seemed completely oblivious of this, and were hardly aware they could receive anything at all. As a result, I was left trying to predict which CDs or other premiums middle-aged women would enjoy. Shockingly, they routinely shot down my unbiased "Raul Campos 4-CD Pack" recommendation, despite its inclusion of Hot Chip and Quadron. Shows what they know.
If you're planning on calling in before the end of the drive, click here and here for information on the standard premiums available.
Volunteers love free shit
I met a number of incredibly nice, interesting (and in most cases unemployed) people from all walks of life during my two shifts. Volunteers came in all shapes and sizes, from nearly every area of Los Angeles, each with a different story to tell. Aside from an eagerness to help, and a deep, passionate love of KCRW, there was one trait that tied everyone together--a love of free shit. T-shirts, food, stickers, crappy CDs, gift certificates for places you've never heard of--you name it, if it's free, volunteers crave it. I quasi-include myself in this--at least with regard to food (which, btw, was delicious).
The half-hour Bookworm is on the air is the busiest half-hour of the drive
Amazingly, the half-hour Michael Silverblatt controls the KCRW airwaves is the busiest of the entire drive. Who knew? Jason Bentley must be jealous as all hell. Apparently, Bookworm's prodigious results are due to the fact that it only airs once during the drive, the show has an ardent following--it's the only program of its kind in the United States(!), and Silverblatt always has a special autographed book premium available at the show's conclusion. Add it up and it's a lucrative combination for KCRW.
Speaking of Michael Silverblatt, I got to meet him, and he was far less creepy in person that he comes across on the radio. I also had the pleasure of receiving an exhortation/thank you from Warren Olney (yes, the Warren Olney), and he was just as dignified in person as you'd expect--though not as well dressed. I guess that's the beauty of the radio.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Meat-free Febuary 3:13 PM
What do tofu, tofurkey, fakon, fauxsage and fauxlogna have in common? Simple--they all figure to be prominently featured in my diet over the month of February. That's right, I--a self-proclaimed meat eating caveman--am giving up animal flesh for an entire month.1 I've made it through two-plus days, and I can already feel the malnutrition and loss of skin pigmentation setting in. Good times.
As much as I love the taste of a freshly slaughtered hunk of beef, or the sweet smell of a genetically modified, mutant-sized chicken breast, it has become impossible to argue that raising and eating animals isn't far worse for the environment than a meatless diet. I'll spare you any numbers or statistics (mostly because it's difficult to find exact consensus due to the number of variables involved), but it's universally acknowledged (assuming you don't work in the cattle or chicken industries) that the embedded energy in a pound of beef is much higher than that of a pound of grain or vegetables. It borders on common sense.
I like to think of myself as being environmentally conscious, and my meat-laden diet is one of the last, and easiest, areas for me to modify in a pro-environment fashion. Like my habit of riding public transportation around Los Angeles2, I am doing this for myself (though, my lovely GF should be commended forjumping on the bandwagon joining me) and am not looking to necessarily change anyone's mind on the matter. We all love the taste of meat, and I realize it's no fun to give it up. Whether or not I'll live sans-meat past February 28th is still to be seen, but I'm sure that my consumption will at least be greatly reduced
In the meantime, I see this experiment as a wonderful opportunity to not only lower my carbon footprint, but to check out some new restaurants, and make a number offlavorless tasty, meatless recipes.3 Wish me luck.
Note 1 - Meat-free February is being done entirely for environmental reasons. I'm
Note 2 - My good friend Mike, and the aforementioned lovely GF, are both more than a little responsible for this experiment. My thanks goes out to both of them.
Note 3 - Updates to come soon.
Note 4 - I'm not looking forward to a meatless Superbowl party and Valentines Day. So it goes.
Note 5 - Any recommendations, stories, or easy recipes would be greatly appreciated.
1 The butchers at the Santa Monica Vons are shedding tears right now.
2 It's been two months since my last pro-environment, month-long gimmick. I was due for another change of pace.
3 I've already made two delicious tofu entrees (one that nearly converted my carnivorous brother to the green side), and a wonderful butternut squash casserole. Wow, it looks like I've given up my manhood for the month of February as well.
As much as I love the taste of a freshly slaughtered hunk of beef, or the sweet smell of a genetically modified, mutant-sized chicken breast, it has become impossible to argue that raising and eating animals isn't far worse for the environment than a meatless diet. I'll spare you any numbers or statistics (mostly because it's difficult to find exact consensus due to the number of variables involved), but it's universally acknowledged (assuming you don't work in the cattle or chicken industries) that the embedded energy in a pound of beef is much higher than that of a pound of grain or vegetables. It borders on common sense.
I like to think of myself as being environmentally conscious, and my meat-laden diet is one of the last, and easiest, areas for me to modify in a pro-environment fashion. Like my habit of riding public transportation around Los Angeles2, I am doing this for myself (though, my lovely GF should be commended for
In the meantime, I see this experiment as a wonderful opportunity to not only lower my carbon footprint, but to check out some new restaurants, and make a number of
Note 1 - Meat-free February is being done entirely for environmental reasons. I'm
Note 2 - My good friend Mike, and the aforementioned lovely GF, are both more than a little responsible for this experiment. My thanks goes out to both of them.
Note 3 - Updates to come soon.
Note 4 - I'm not looking forward to a meatless Superbowl party and Valentines Day. So it goes.
Note 5 - Any recommendations, stories, or easy recipes would be greatly appreciated.
1 The butchers at the Santa Monica Vons are shedding tears right now.
2 It's been two months since my last pro-environment, month-long gimmick. I was due for another change of pace.
3 I've already made two delicious tofu entrees (one that nearly converted my carnivorous brother to the green side), and a wonderful butternut squash casserole. Wow, it looks like I've given up my manhood for the month of February as well.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Things Undeployed probably spends way too much time thinking about - How long a container of garlic salt will last 4:14 PM
After accompanying my girlfriend to Costco on a Saturday for the first and last time, I was left with a slight headache, $60 worth of comically-sized foodstuffs, and one two-pound(!) shaker of garlic salt. My borderline romantic feelings toward the sweet smelling spice have been well documented on this site, I'm looking forward to countless meals enhanced by my friends at Lawry's.
Weighing in at a spice rack-busting two pounds, many would assume I now own a lifetime supply of garlic salt. I beg to differ. I don't know how long this shaker will survive in my "frat house" but I'm putting the over/under at six months. I'm giddy thinking about all the memories we'll share together, and once our torrid run is finally over, I'll be able to look back to when it all began by referencing the purchase date prominently written on its label.
The dated (and gargantuan) garlic salt container in question, with scale figure for reference.
Weighing in at a spice rack-busting two pounds, many would assume I now own a lifetime supply of garlic salt. I beg to differ. I don't know how long this shaker will survive in my "frat house" but I'm putting the over/under at six months. I'm giddy thinking about all the memories we'll share together, and once our torrid run is finally over, I'll be able to look back to when it all began by referencing the purchase date prominently written on its label.
The dated (and gargantuan) garlic salt container in question, with scale figure for reference.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Music Monday - Delphic and Beach House 7:54 AM
I have few rules in life,1 but anytime my metro, Swiss friend recommends a band, I have to discuss them on Music Monday.2 Delphic, a promising band out of Manchester England, is poised to release an EP and or LP later this year, and likely explode onto the music scene in the process. Much to my delight, their stuff has been floating around the blogosphere for some time, and their recently released remix of Phoenix's "Fences" brings it.
While we're here, Beach House has a new album out, and like their first effort (and very much unlike their second try) it seems to be quite nice. It's the perfect music to fall asleep to (it can't be a coincidence it's titled Teen Dream), but can't be labeled boring.
1 This probably explains all the STDs.
2 Fortunately, for everyone, I've ignored his advice on the virtues of capris and chicken livers. He's so Euro.
While we're here, Beach House has a new album out, and like their first effort (and very much unlike their second try) it seems to be quite nice. It's the perfect music to fall asleep to (it can't be a coincidence it's titled Teen Dream), but can't be labeled boring.
1 This probably explains all the STDs.
2 Fortunately, for everyone, I've ignored his advice on the virtues of capris and chicken livers. He's so Euro.
Friday, January 29, 2010
What I would do if I ran a private university 7:38 AM
If the world were to be turned upside down, and I was somehow made president of a prestigious private university (think Dartmouth), my first order of business [aside from several blatantly sexist practices first suggested by Bill Simmons (Ctrl+F, "university"), including the admissions requirement whereby "female applicants just send pictures"] would be to issue every sophomore and incoming freshman an iPad, Apple's latest uber-gadget.
I'm nowhere near convinced that e-readers and physical keyboard-less tablet PCs are going to take over the world anytime soon. Perhaps it's just that I love holding physical books in my hand, and don't feel the need to take my entire literary library everywhere i go (unlike my feelings about music libraries), but I have no desire to purchase a Kindle. The iPad can clearly do much more than a Kindle--and I wouldn't mind owning one--but I'm not going to rush out and drop a minimum of $499 on one.
That said, I do think iPads have the ability to take over the education world. With the help of several thousand $499 devices, universities like Dartmouth, Pepperdine, Loyola Marymount, etc.--armed with their massive endowments--could go paperless almost overnight. Students would spend less on textbooks, receive course readers and assignments via e-mail, write and submit papers and exams directly from their tablets, avoid the annoyance of selling textbooks back to bookstores at the end of the semester, and save thousands of trees in the process. The entire college student-centric reprographics industry would be put out of business overnight (don't feel sorry for them, they'd undoubtedly reinvent themselves as creators of iPad apps).
Imagine downloading a physics textbook onto your iPad. One could read a chapter, highlight sections (with the swipe of a finger) and equations, and rapidly generate a custom chapter summary--no physical highlighter or notepad required. Lab books? Thing of the past. All the work would be done on the iPad an e-mailed to a professor [and cc'd to the applicable grad student(s)]. Entire lectures could be wirelessly downloaded as the lecture is taking place. No need to take notes (though one certainly still could)--instead provide the professor with 100 percent focus (yeah right).1 I'm getting fired up just talking about this, and I haven't even gotten to the audio/video/multimedia embedding opportunities. I can't even imagine how iPads could/will change things like foreign language courses. Could one have an entire educational "conversation" with their iPad? I don't doubt it.
You can't tell me this wouldn't work? Even if the cost proved too steep for the university, I don't see any problem charging incoming freshman $300 for an iPad. What's $300 when one is paying a $47,000 tuition? Heck, Apple might even donate them, considering all the apps they would stand to sell--both educational and non-educational. The opportunities are endless.
Note - this is all predicated on the iPad not straining the eyes when used as an eBook for extended periods of time (similar to what the Kindle has accomplished). If it's painful to use for more than an hour or two of reading this entire scheme is semi-moot.
1 I'm sure playing games, browsing Facebook, and Gchatting would be a concern, but Apple could easily devise a workaround (perhaps "modes" the device could automatically be placed in, via a "Professor's Edition" iPad. For example, "test mode" and "lecture mode" seem easily attainable).
I'm nowhere near convinced that e-readers and physical keyboard-less tablet PCs are going to take over the world anytime soon. Perhaps it's just that I love holding physical books in my hand, and don't feel the need to take my entire literary library everywhere i go (unlike my feelings about music libraries), but I have no desire to purchase a Kindle. The iPad can clearly do much more than a Kindle--and I wouldn't mind owning one--but I'm not going to rush out and drop a minimum of $499 on one.
That said, I do think iPads have the ability to take over the education world. With the help of several thousand $499 devices, universities like Dartmouth, Pepperdine, Loyola Marymount, etc.--armed with their massive endowments--could go paperless almost overnight. Students would spend less on textbooks, receive course readers and assignments via e-mail, write and submit papers and exams directly from their tablets, avoid the annoyance of selling textbooks back to bookstores at the end of the semester, and save thousands of trees in the process. The entire college student-centric reprographics industry would be put out of business overnight (don't feel sorry for them, they'd undoubtedly reinvent themselves as creators of iPad apps).
Imagine downloading a physics textbook onto your iPad. One could read a chapter, highlight sections (with the swipe of a finger) and equations, and rapidly generate a custom chapter summary--no physical highlighter or notepad required. Lab books? Thing of the past. All the work would be done on the iPad an e-mailed to a professor [and cc'd to the applicable grad student(s)]. Entire lectures could be wirelessly downloaded as the lecture is taking place. No need to take notes (though one certainly still could)--instead provide the professor with 100 percent focus (yeah right).1 I'm getting fired up just talking about this, and I haven't even gotten to the audio/video/multimedia embedding opportunities. I can't even imagine how iPads could/will change things like foreign language courses. Could one have an entire educational "conversation" with their iPad? I don't doubt it.
You can't tell me this wouldn't work? Even if the cost proved too steep for the university, I don't see any problem charging incoming freshman $300 for an iPad. What's $300 when one is paying a $47,000 tuition? Heck, Apple might even donate them, considering all the apps they would stand to sell--both educational and non-educational. The opportunities are endless.
Note - this is all predicated on the iPad not straining the eyes when used as an eBook for extended periods of time (similar to what the Kindle has accomplished). If it's painful to use for more than an hour or two of reading this entire scheme is semi-moot.
1 I'm sure playing games, browsing Facebook, and Gchatting would be a concern, but Apple could easily devise a workaround (perhaps "modes" the device could automatically be placed in, via a "Professor's Edition" iPad. For example, "test mode" and "lecture mode" seem easily attainable).
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Inspired by a bumper sticker 9:45 AM
Ocean Park isn't as bike friendly as I remembered. I'm not even to 34th and the bike lane's already disipated. Where did it go? Oh well, it's still better than Pico. Pico's a fucking disaster. I swear a bus passes me every 30 seconds I'm on that goddam street. I love public transit as much as anyone--I'm on a bike aren't I?--but those buses terrify me. What good's a bike lane if you share it with a three-ton bus? Is there a better solution--bus stops on the center median? bike lanes in the center? Fuck it, it's not like the the city gives a shit about this crap.
Good call bringing the bike over last night. Ahh, there's nothing like a four-mile ride to start the day. I just wish I had aired up the tires last night. It seems like this always happens. Dammit. Oh well, it's only four miles. The front tire never has enough air in it, and I just checked it for flats. Nothing. What a pain in the ass. It's ok, I'm on not driving. But crap, I hate riding on ocean park.
At least I get to ride by The Counter. I wonder if that cute waitress is working today? What was her name? Claudia? Do I care? Not when she looks that good in a [one size too small] T-shirt. Jesus, that was amazing. It was a woman like her that inspired "I'd like some fries with that shake." There it is--the doors are already rolled up. Only in LA. Nine more blocks and turn right--gotta take 20th; 17th doesn't go through. Is that yogurt place new? Must be, I haven't se
Jesus
"Watch what you're fucking doing," I yell.
Why is she angry at me? I have a right to the road too.
"I have a right to the road too," still yelling. Thanks for the honk. What a cunt.
"Cunt!" Now she knows.
I was sure she was going to pull out in front of me. I still remember the last time that happened. Well, at least right until I hit the fender. And the physical therapy. Can't forget that. I should have worn a helmet today.
Why are there speed bumps? Would people really speed down 20th? What am I saying? I'd speed down 20th. They may as well have put these here specially for me. That's great, fly past me and slam on the breaks for the bump. Way to save gas. Jackass. A BMW. USC Alumni. Shocking combo. Only a 3-series. Douche.
My rear tire's rubbing against the frame. I adjusted it yesterday and it's already rubbing again. Fuck me. I should have brought the Trek. I'd already be home if I was on the Trek. But then I would've had to deal with shoes. I need to sell this bike. I can't sell it, it gives me such hipster cred. I should sell my mountain bike. I can't even remember the last time I road it. Anybody living in an apartment isn't meant to own three bikes. Why can't I bring myself to sell it? I have a rule--if something hasn't been used in a year, ditch it. Why doesn't it apply to my bikes? Tire's still rubbing. I'm not stopping. Got to make this light. I never hit this light. Yes, I'm actually going to
"Fuck."
I never hit this light. Fucking Olympic. Sweet, I get to wait behind someone who doesn't know they're allowed to turn right on a red. Amateur. I wish I had the authority to revoke bad drivers' licenses on the spot. Alas. 'I'd Fuck A Catchers Mitt'...? Who the fuck would put that bumper sticker on their car? I need to meet this person. Wait, I definitely don't need to meet this person. Some of these bumper stickers boggle my mind. Do people actually pay for them? Is there some sort of shitty bumper sticker store I'm not aware of? Does this bozo actually think it's funny? Does he (she?) have kids? These are the things I need to know. There should be a website that chronicles these abominations. I'm thinking ridiculousbumperstickers.com. It would be like People of Walmart...only not as funny. I'd go to that site. No I wouldn't--I never even visit People of Walmart. My attention span isn't short enough. Long enough?
Green light.
Good call bringing the bike over last night. Ahh, there's nothing like a four-mile ride to start the day. I just wish I had aired up the tires last night. It seems like this always happens. Dammit. Oh well, it's only four miles. The front tire never has enough air in it, and I just checked it for flats. Nothing. What a pain in the ass. It's ok, I'm on not driving. But crap, I hate riding on ocean park.
At least I get to ride by The Counter. I wonder if that cute waitress is working today? What was her name? Claudia? Do I care? Not when she looks that good in a [one size too small] T-shirt. Jesus, that was amazing. It was a woman like her that inspired "I'd like some fries with that shake." There it is--the doors are already rolled up. Only in LA. Nine more blocks and turn right--gotta take 20th; 17th doesn't go through. Is that yogurt place new? Must be, I haven't se
Jesus
"Watch what you're fucking doing," I yell.
Why is she angry at me? I have a right to the road too.
"I have a right to the road too," still yelling. Thanks for the honk. What a cunt.
"Cunt!" Now she knows.
I was sure she was going to pull out in front of me. I still remember the last time that happened. Well, at least right until I hit the fender. And the physical therapy. Can't forget that. I should have worn a helmet today.
Why are there speed bumps? Would people really speed down 20th? What am I saying? I'd speed down 20th. They may as well have put these here specially for me. That's great, fly past me and slam on the breaks for the bump. Way to save gas. Jackass. A BMW. USC Alumni. Shocking combo. Only a 3-series. Douche.
My rear tire's rubbing against the frame. I adjusted it yesterday and it's already rubbing again. Fuck me. I should have brought the Trek. I'd already be home if I was on the Trek. But then I would've had to deal with shoes. I need to sell this bike. I can't sell it, it gives me such hipster cred. I should sell my mountain bike. I can't even remember the last time I road it. Anybody living in an apartment isn't meant to own three bikes. Why can't I bring myself to sell it? I have a rule--if something hasn't been used in a year, ditch it. Why doesn't it apply to my bikes? Tire's still rubbing. I'm not stopping. Got to make this light. I never hit this light. Yes, I'm actually going to
"Fuck."
I never hit this light. Fucking Olympic. Sweet, I get to wait behind someone who doesn't know they're allowed to turn right on a red. Amateur. I wish I had the authority to revoke bad drivers' licenses on the spot. Alas. 'I'd Fuck A Catchers Mitt'...? Who the fuck would put that bumper sticker on their car? I need to meet this person. Wait, I definitely don't need to meet this person. Some of these bumper stickers boggle my mind. Do people actually pay for them? Is there some sort of shitty bumper sticker store I'm not aware of? Does this bozo actually think it's funny? Does he (she?) have kids? These are the things I need to know. There should be a website that chronicles these abominations. I'm thinking ridiculousbumperstickers.com. It would be like People of Walmart...only not as funny. I'd go to that site. No I wouldn't--I never even visit People of Walmart. My attention span isn't short enough. Long enough?
Green light.
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