Dave Recommends - Bicycle routing web sites 11:46 AM

Bicycling is darn near the perfect form of transportation in many cities--just ask the Dutch.  Unfortunately, this is obviously not the case in Los Angeles.  Running errands in Santa Monica is ok, and taking a leisurely ride along the Strand is a lovely way to spend a Saturday morning, but many rides are just not meant to be.  I'm a fairly experienced cyclist, but most of the major arterial roads that link Los Angeles--think Wilshire, Olympic, Lincoln, etc--completely terrify my bicycle and I.   I know that bikes and cars are supposed to "share the road", but on a street like Lincoln Blvd (2-3 lanes in both directions, with no bike lanes), that's easier said than done.  If only there were a way to map out a bicycle friendly route from point A to point B.  What's that?  Dave has a recommendation?  He does!?  And it's exciting enough that Dave is speaking in the third person?  Do tell!  Dave will!

Google Maps Bike Routing
Google has done it again.   In addition to driving directions, Google's wonderful mapping site already featured walking and public transit routing for many cities, and as of a couple days ago, now boasts bicycle routing for over 150 cities.  I'd like to personally issue them a hearty, hell yes!  I've played with it for all of 45 seconds, but it seems promising.  I can't figure out what the various green color codes mean, and it would be nice if there were a "skill level" or "cycling experience" option (a test route I just tried included a lengthy stretch on the aforementioned terrifying Lincoln Blvd), but it's certainly a good start.

Bike Metro
Believe it or not, as of right this second, Google actually isn't the best at something.  Hard to believe, I know.  Bike Metro covers LA, Orange, Riverside, and San Bernadino counties, and includes options like "hill tolerance" and "skill level", which means riders can complete their commutes sans sweat, and road rash.  Good times.

As you can see, the internet is making it easier than ever to be a [safe] cyclist in a major city, so hop on the web, then hop on your saddle and take a ride.

Trends I Started - Outdoor workouts 10:41 AM

A friend's recent five-day trial at Iron Gym in Santa Monica brought me dangerously close to joining the boutique gym ($80/month dues included), and throwing away the trend I've worked so hard to instill in Southern California's workout aficionados.  Who was I kidding.  I'm wayyy too cheap for that, and frankly, no longer even have the need for weight rooms and cardio studios.  I've belonged to a gym for less than a total of two months since moving to SoCal four-plus years ago, and have instead chiseled out a Praxiteles-approved physique with little more than sunshine, steroids, pull-up and dip bars, gymnastics rings, and our old friend terra firma.

I continue to love working out outdoors (despite tweaking my back this morning on a rope climb), and can give you five reasons it was such an easy trend to start.

1.  Tan and work out at the same time
A killer physique without a killer tan is like a non-alcoholic beer:  it might taste alright, but what's the point?  Working out under the beautiful Southern California sun affords a solid hour of nearly head to toe tanning time, and what a time it is.  I can almost feel the melanoma forming!  I just received my new drivers license in the mail, and thanks to a picture taken at the height of last summer's beach workouts, nearly mistook the person in the picture for a Cuban immigrant.

2.  No shirt, no shoes, full service
Put it this way, once you've worked out sans shoes and shirt for an extended period of time, you don't go back.  Even if we ignore the tanimal you can become, shirtless workouts are liberating, cathartic experiences.  One feels practically naked, every muscle stresses, and people gather to watch one's every movement.  I need a cigarette just thinking about it.  Overheating is a thing of the past, and disgusting, pitted out shirts are left to the gym-going neanderthals that have not yet hopped on the trend.

3.  Cost, or lack thereof
Ballys and 24 Hour Fitness:  $30/month.  Iron and Spectrum:  $75-100/month.  Equinox:  $150(!)/month.  Working out at a park, beach, or high school:  $0-100/year depending on the equipment one chooses to buy/bring.  A year's worth of Equinox dues is more than a lot of people I know contribute to their IRAs and 401Ks every year.  You'd have to be pretty fit to justify that large an investment.

4.  The "You don't belong to a gym?!" reaction
Nothing warms the heart like a complete stranger nearly pooping their pants upon learning you don't belong to a gym.  Sorry you asked.  It's happened to me at least a dozen times, and although every instance was likely a gay pick-up attempt, they still warmed the soul (on second thought, perhaps that's why they warmed the soul...).  Something I had never really thought about, but is implied by this phenomenon, is that someone who works out without the aid of a gym need not get the same results to garner the same admiration--assuming the admirers are aware of the admirees gymlessness.  I have some thinking to do.

5.  Environmental impact, or lack thereof
No building to heat and cool; no complicated machines to design, manufacture, ship, install, and power; no driving to and from a place to workout (an absurd phenomenon that has been commented on ad nauseum); no towels to wash and dry after a single use.  I could continue piling on the environmental impacts of a typical gym, but will instead leave you with a simple equation:  outdoor workouts + location = green space = happy environment + smug blogger.

Music Monday - Several Remixes 2:28 PM

My stomach hurts, my laptop is literally crumbling beneath the weight of my fingers, and I'm still hungover from the Female Superbowl,¹ but duty calls!  It's Monday, I've got music, you've got ears, do you feel me?  Yes you do.

I've been on a bit of a remix kick the last few days (as my loyal Twitter followers can attest), and see no reason why I can't recycle a few tweet-worthy tracks on Undeployed.  Enjoy.

¹ Aka, the Academy Awards. I actually didn't watch them, but wanted to reuse my quasi-unfunny joke one more time.

Flexitarianism - solution or BS concept? 5:18 PM

We're 65 hours into March, and I've yet to give in to my carnal desires and return to a diet replete with animal flesh.  In other words, I've been "allowed" to eat meat for nearly three full days, but have not done so.  Granted, it may just be a result of not having any choice cuts defrosted, but it seems telling.

Meat-free February couldn't have gone better.  I rarely craved meat (save for a day at the drag races--when I was forced into a gut-busting bean and cheese burrito--and at my brother's apartment warming party--when I watched a delicious batch of Swedish meatballs be prepared, cooked, and ravenously consumed), checked out several fun, vegetarian restaurants, and realized the key to a delicious sandwich is not low-grade lunch meat, but rather delicious fresh vegetables.

So where does this leave me?  I'm not exactly sure.  I've been leaning toward an answer for a couple weeks, and thanks to our good friends at Wikipedia, finally have a word to go along with the idea:  Flexitarianism -- a vegetarian diet, "with occasional meat consumption."  Yes, I realize this is a bit of (or a lot of) a cop-out, but couldn't any compromise be described as a cop-out?  Basically, I plan to look at my diet choices the same way I look at my transportation choices:  I'll walk, bicycle, motor scooter, or take the bus whenever I can, but won't feel guilty if I want to drive my Jeep to Griffith Park for a hike, West Hollywood for an orgy, or the Getty for a weekend evening with my girlfriend.  Similarly, I'll make myself veggie and tofu based dishes whenever I'm cooking for myself, but I'll occasionally have a steak, chicken breast, or Swedish meatball if given the opportunity, and the desire.

David 1, Motorcycle test 0 9:46 AM

After six months of highly illegal, unlicensed activities on my motor scooter, I am finally in possession of an M1 license as issued by the state of California.  I stressed out about the overly technical¹ test for far too long--and even considered shelling out $250 for a "rider safety course" that would have superseded the DMV administered test--but thanks to a little practice, and a pleasantly chill DMV employee, passed with flying colors.  A few thoughts:

1.  All components of the test involve weaving between cones and staying between narrow parallel lines.  It turns out this is a lot harder than it sounds.  Fortunately, the employee administering my test wasn't too concerned with my hog's (aka 1987 Yamaha Riva's) wheels staying within the lines, so long as I didn't put my foot down (which garners an automatic fail).  This bending of the rules eliminated most of the pressure, and the subsequent test was no biggie.²

2.  Anyone thinking about taking a rider safety course should avoid it unless they're interested in learning riding skills, or want to [potentially] save on their motorcycle insurance.  Why pay $250 when passing the DMV test is nearly guaranteed?

3.  I now actually think the test is too easy.  Before taking the exam, I was incensed about how tricky/technical/hard it was.  It doesn't measure real world riding skills, and larger bikes can't even physically make such tight turns.  After?  I think it's too easy.  Armed with my [mighty] 149cc scooter, I could have passed the test ten times out of ten.  Now I'm deemed safe to carry passengers, ride at night, and on freeways?!  It's a terrifying thought.  It's bad enough how easy it is to obtain a drivers license (as we can all see from the hoards of shitty drivers on the road), shouldn't a motorcycle license be at least as hard to acquire?  Apparently not in California.  Why not just have a test administrator(s) following the applicant around city streets at a safe distance, and observing whether they're competent and safe?  It's no different than accompanying applicants in their car for driving tests.  Wait, why am I complaining?  Shouldn't I be happy I could have passed my test while drunk?  Never mind...

¹ The test falls somewhere between a synchronized swimming routine, short track speed skating, and a swingers party.  It's fast, wet, and leaves the driver a little dizzy.
² For the record, I'm pretty sure I did keep my front wheel between the lines the entire time. Definitely easier knowing I had some margin for error.

Music Monday - Gorillaz and Blakroc 9:59 AM

Like a rube, I was under the impression that 2005's Demon Days was Gorillaz' last studio album.  Shows what I know.  Much to my delight, the anthropoidal band has spent the past three years tinkering in the studio, and will be releasing Plastic Beach later this month.  Good times.  I'm approaching the album with realistic expectations, but early signs have been positive.  I mean, Snoop Dogg(!) even makes a guest appearance.

Blakroc's "What You Do To Me" is significant for three reasons, and three reasons only:
1.  The band is a side-project/collaboration of/with The Black Keys
2.  I heard this song on KCRW last night
3.  It would either be an incredibly awesome, or stupid, two-person (male & female) karaoke song.  I'll report my findings at a later date

Out of office 12:00 PM

I'm traveling for business/pleasure/reminiscing/merrymaking through Friday, but will have a new Music Monday post for you next week.

Thanks for your patience.

Tackling Taxes redux 10:02 AM

When it comes to tackling taxes, I'm like a cross between Ray Lewis and Ronnie Lott--I tackle the hell out of them, and then do a pelvic thrust-laden celebratory jig.  While most people are terrified of tax season, I embrace it.  It's like a good sunburn--it makes me feel alive.  Once I've gathered all the requisite documents (ideally on January 1) I like to put on a green visor, grab a pack of Marlboro Reds, fire up my 8 year-old laptop, and get freaky with TurboTax.

I just filed my taxes, and am refreshing my E*Trade account every 15 minutes to see if my refunds have been electronically deposited.  I would explain the nuances of my tax filing system (hint - a fire extinguisher is involved), but instead I'll just recycle something I wrote for Gradspot.com a couple years ago.

Click here to take a gander, or just peruse this preview:

After years of odd jobs and part-time work, this past year I finally earned enough to warrant filing a return. Waking early one recent Sunday, determined to get this hellish monkey off my back, I hunkered down at my computer—armed with TurboTax and a fifth of Beefeater Gin—ready for the worst. To my great surprise, after a scant 90 minutes I had finished both my state and federal returns, was printing receipts for my records, and was turning on the television just in time to catch the tail end of CBS’s Sunday Morning. Here are my stats for the morning: $96 owed to the Feds; $67 owed to me by the State of California; $30 for TurboTax; 90 minutes of my time; and one shot of Beefeater (in celebration of a job well done). The whole experience was really just a simple inconvenience—hardly the paperwork hellstorm I was expecting. Then again, as a recent college graduate, my tax situation was far from complicated—I only had one source of income, no defendants, and I've never given a red cent to charity in my life.

Friend of Dave - Bogie Shares 8:50 AM

It's still unclear what the overarching theme of Bogie Shares will be, but I'm pretty sure drunken blogging will continue to figure prominently.  Mountaineering, tech, and recreational drug use have already been covered, and I'm pretty sure I'm enjoying every minute of it.  It will be interesting to see which direction Bogie's blog takes next--I'm just hoping it stays safe for work.  I urge you to follow along and find out.