Monday, January 18, 2010

Music Monday - Indie Goggles

I'm a big fan of female singer/songwriters.  Huge fan.  Can't get enough of them.  There's just nothing sexier than the thought of an attractive lady strumming a guitar while singing softly into my melting ears.  For this reason I (and all men the least bit hipster) have a tendency to view female musicians as being more attractive than they really are; we get "indie goggles" (© 2010, Undeployed.com).  Think of them the same way we think of "beer goggles" (and much to my chagrin, "Berkeley goggles")--strap them on and all of a sudden that girl at the keyboard couldn't look hotter.

A suscinct definition (provided by your resident trendsetter) for indie goggles can be found at Urban Dictionary, but in case it's blocked at your office, here it is verbatim:
Indie goggles - The tendency for otherwise rational males to grossly exaggerate the attractiveness level of women with an "indie" look--particularly if the female in question is in a band.

Pretty simple right?  In case you're still confused, let's take a look at several indie chicks from the world of music, rate their looks with indie goggles (on a scale of 1 to 10, with no such thing as a 71), then their actual rating (same scale).
Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley.  Indie goggles score: 9.  Actual score:  6.
Leslie Feist.  Indie goggles score: 10.  Actual score:  5.5.
Zooey Deschanel:  Indie goggles score: 10+.  Actual score:  8.
Beth Ditto of The Gossip.  Indie goggles score: 1.  Actual score:  1.
The women of Au Revoir Simone (scores from L to R).  Indie goggles score:  9, 8,8.  Actual score:  8, 5,4.
Ladyhawke.  Indie goggles score:  10.  Actual score 6.5
La Roux.  Indie goggles score:  8.  Actual score:  3.

You get the idea (I could go on all day).  The concept of indie goggles is still in the nascent stages of development (coalescing somewhere in my cerebral cortex), so the idea--and accompanying rules--are not fully fleshed out.  Despite that, the ranking exercise above draws me to several interesting observations:

1. Indie goggles propel nearly any female band member to at least an 8.
2. There is no correlation between a woman's indie and actual scores, but the mean delta is probably 3+/-.
3. Beth Ditto is completely resistant to indie goggles.
4. Zooey Deschanel is pretty Effing attractive (she wasn't supposed to rank higher than Feist).
5. I'm a heathen.
6. I can't wait to strap on my indie goggles at catch Warpaint at the Natural History Museum in a couple weeks.

1 © 2005, R. Radford.

Note 1 - Beth Ditto may be repulsive, but she sure can belt it out--and if it's subsequently given the Fred Falke treatment, so much the better.
Note 2 - I'll also take credit for "hipster goggles."  Same definition.




2 comments:

RR said...

Where would Regina Spektor fall on the list?
And I don't think we can get an acturate rating on Zooie Whatsherface until we see a "bangs-less" picture. Who knows what she is hiding under there.

Dave said...

I'm glad you asked.
Regina Spektor i.g. score = 8, actual = 4.5.

Bangs are funny because they increase one's i.g. score, but decrease their actual score. The same could be said for thick-framed glasses.

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